Word for Today!

내 마음에서




I'm sorry to say, who ever see this, might think differ.. also me.. because it's a different me here.. why? I also doesn't have the answer... just want to be the real me.. so, just think it that way.. it's just me..the same person but differ site of heart..maybe.. huhuu~~


190311 : 2.12AM

Alhamdulillah...once again, I'm back..tapi...dengan hati yang sangat2 terluka malam ni...tak tau nak cakap apa, tak tau nak cakap macam mana..rasa macam nak nangis kuat2!! tapi, rasa macam tak mampu...Ya Allah..berikan aku peluang...untuk kembali ke jalan keredhaan Mu..T__T.. kenapa rasa kecewa sangat2..kecewa...let take it positive!! okey!! this is an experience k!! take it!! learn from it!! cari hikmah disebalik semua ni..you'll find your way!!! think it like that..think it that way..it should be more better...but..just for once..let me cry this out..I need to release it...I need to cry tonight....pleaseee~~~~T__Twhat can I do~~???? T_T Ya Allah~~~!!!



100211 : 3.25PM

Alhamdulillah...thinking of something..haha..guess what?? nak buat e-novel~~! hahaha... ntah da ri mana la idea ni datang..teringat kat 'karya' jaman sekolah dulu..duk sangkut tak lepas2..hihi...tapi, mmg da kehabisan idea la crita tu..haha...da la kelakar...takpe, we start we a fresh new starter k..hehe....tajuk yg telah dipikirkan..."..............." [biar la rahsia ek] huhuhuhu...kenapa tajuk ni...hmmm~~~panjang cerita nya...nak pendekkan sekarang? I have no time, nk gi lunch dulu yer..jap gi sambung balik..hehe


050111:1.25AM

Alhamdulillah...Alhamdulillah..it's now 2011!!~~~ cepatnya masa berlalu...2010 gone a little bit fast...dan..lagi2..many things happened!!~~ rite...hoho...not feeling rite...something's missing or something's not rite..now..jiguem!! Subhanallah...now, it's going to be like this... I'd made some mistakes tonight..small mistake?? I think not..it's not..it's a big mistake!! really~~the messy me is now here..should at least start the beginning of new year with some hope...not loose... T_T Also, I don't feel that this becoming year would be the best year for me..it's seems like something is starting to loosen up.. Am I loosing something?? or else?? what?? I dunno..something that Allah prepared for us..we wouldn't know till the time comes... Moga iman didada takkan pernah luntur dek kefanaan duniawi..amin...Ya Allah..hanya pada-Mu tempat ku memohon pertolongan... berilah harapan, petunjuk, peluang..untuk hamba yg hina ini...mohon keampunan Mu Ya Allah...aminn T__T


221210 : 11.34PM

Alhamdulillah...Alhamdulillah...Alhamdulillah...here I am again with a piece of broken heart... what am I doing??!!! I'm doing something I don't even dare to do...but I'm doing it now..for the first time in my life...ushhh~~really bad...it's going to turn out bad..I knew it...I really wanna go on with it, but dunno how, it's remain at the same spot, as I can't even move on to the next spot...for sure, I'm down!!! that's the first thing..the second...aahhhh!! really can't stand it!! even now I'm dare to change this quote "walk on with hope and u'll never walk alone" to "walk with no hope and u'll always be ALONE"!! It's too irritating...just can't stand it anymore...till when?? till everything burst out like a bomb! I'm still hoping that it would NOT turn out that way...if it is, then it's not me anymore..not me!! Is it my bad complaining everything here? I'm just a normal human..still need some space to speak out what's inside me.. It's really hurt...just like dropping down a glass and it broke into thousand of pieces~~it's hurt...really hurt... that's all things crawling in my mind now..nothing more.. nothing less..maybe...just need some space to relax..release all those things far away till it ain't to came back again...okey! over!! let's think bout something else.. hmmm..what should I say?? I'm really going to change..what changes?? ermm...just wait and see for it... some big changes in my whole life... some new world of life I'll enter would change me..maybe..who knows..just Allah would know better...insyaAllah..I'm not going to change for bad, it's some changes for good...insyaAllah...hope it'll turn out smoothly... Amin~~ 


191110 : 11.39PM

Alhamdulillah...here I am again..just realize that, it'd been 4 years, since I started that little 'diary'..haha..so many memories in it...from those beautiful memories till those sad memories, it all combined in that little 'diary'..hmmm, menggamit memori lama betul laa...macam2 rupa nya da blaku..dan macam2 jugak la yg da aku tempuh...semua tu la pengalaman aku, pengajaran buat aku, tentang kehidupan yg singkat ni..alhamdulillah..aku bersyukur..terima kasih Ya Allah, atas nikmat iman dan islam yg Kau kurniakan..moga ia kekal dlam dada ini..moga ia terpelihara sehingga aku kembali pada-Mu Ya Allah...now, there's no more 'someone' I can rely on...there's just me, alone, with those little 'diary' I'll bring along...but (don't misunderstood plak..someone here doesn't mean a 'boyfren' k!)..just those few friends I can rely on sometimes, but not anymore...why?? me also dunno..just feel a bit awkward...starting from when? also dunno..hmmm...just left the time that would examine it..will it last till forever...but, they are my friends, of course, I love them as my friends...for those who think I'm her/his friend, then, thank you, for honestly being my friend...I'll appreciate it forever...종말 감사해요!! 사랑함니다!!^^


181110 : 12.38AM

Alhamdulillah...segala pujian buat Yang Esa..Tuhan sekalian alam... it's midnight already..need to go to sleep early tonight but~~this heart still won't let this body to move on what's on this mind..hmmm... wanna talk bout something, something seems familiar..something that everybody know or maybe something that everyone pass by already... where should I start? errmmm.. kalau kita rasa nk marah bila org buat mcm tu kat kita, sama la dia rasa kalu kita buat yg sama pada dia? kan?? yeke?? eh, jap..ada kaitan ke ngn statement nih? haish.. again~~haha~~ errmm... bila kita bertahan menghadapi apa yg kita tak suka, tu da namanya kita ni penyabar ker?? (and again, one more stupid question...)~~tapi, kalau kita asyik sebut je kita ni penyabar, mmg kita ni penyabar ke?? macam da nk menunjuk la plak yg kita ni penyabar kan?? yeke?? hmm...(again!!) haish~~apa point sebenarnya nih??!!! eeeiihh!!~~ (knock! knock! it's almost 1am! go to sleep laa!!)~~but wanna talk more here T_T (the problem is, you can't spill it out!!)~~ hukhuk T_T...~~masa itu emas...better go to sleep laa dari you babbling for nothing here!! k!! Nite~~!!^^




151110 : 07.31PM

Alhamdulillah...segala pujian buat Yang Esa..dgn kurniaan Iman dan Islam..alhamdulillah...after a short break, I'm here again~~waaaa~~ macam2 da blaku, macam2 da fikir...alih2, da nak raya haji pun..huhu..tak sangka, tahun ni tak dapat balik raya lagi..hukhuk T__T sedih tul..hmmm...what am I going to 'elaborate' today?? hahaha... erm, my new thought "The way they're thinking are the same, but why can't we believe in the same thing? or they believe in a same thing but not the same thought. Or else?"... guest bout what?? huhuuu~~macam2 terlintas, tpi... cannot tell you!!~~la~~la~~~la.. it could be hard to say..could be too obvious to talk on... just let it be in this mind... but..else..really wanna talk bout it!...haish~~


251010 : 10.53PM

Alhamdulillah...I'm back, with a piece of broken heart... dunno how..dunno why...something bad?? or something shock?? or maybe something that change the way I'm thinking...not just one thing but many things with many ways and corner..to think back again..yes! maybe it's true..that it's all my fault..I'm the one that ruining everything..turn it upside down.. but, (dunno what to say T_T)..it's just hurt me more deeper...now, the fact is that..I'm alone..with my own self..unable to do anything with everything I've started...@_@


011010 : 10.25PM

Alhamdulillah... akhirnya, berakhirnya satu interview yg agak tak terjangka oleh ku...huhuhu... dasat-dasat.. tapi takpe..pengalaman kan..hmmm... what should I say? nothing much, a little bit sleepy, but still doesn't wanna sleep..haha.. soooo, here I am.. menekan bebutang keyboard ni tanpa arah tujuan.. haish.. nape la jadi pelik semacam je skarang.. haish... dasat-dasat.. huhuuu~~ 


290910 : 4.35PM

Alhamdulillah..here I am again.. dunno what to do, even though I'm still not prepare at all for my interview tomorrow.. this is the decision I've made.. "going to that interview".. haish.. dunno how and why.. is it right?? I also dunno what am I doing rite now and what am I suppose to do... haish.. it even more stress from before.. think back again, maybe there is something new I need to learn.. Allah knows better what is rite for me.. and also Allah is the one Who know what's the thing deep inside me.. (becoz I also dunno what it is..) @_@
Today.. something interfere again.. again?? still, have time to think over it..even though.. need to forget it...A.S.A.P.. haish.. by the way, also having a good time with friends today..haha.. I'm glad to know all of you.. 


230910 : 11.28PM

For every minutes and every second in our life, it's good to think about the good think.. every good things that we're thinking of, isn't necessarily will happen.. but it's good to think, whether u're happy or not..we're really lonely if we think about our sadness.. b'coz there is no clue that we'll always having the sad things.. just be happy with your life.. the most sad thing in your life is the most happiest thing to be memorize...

"something that make you the right cannot make you the wrong, but something that make you the wrong, cannot make you be the right..." 

"remember that, every tears will finish by a smile, every fear will finish by a peace and every difficulty will finish by happiness..."




190910 : 3.38AM

지금, I'm so into this song ... 희망은 잠들지 않는 ... some lovely voice with 'few' lovely meaning... bet so..ho..ho.. 옽오게, 그것은 거짓 현실을 직시 수없는 경우인가요? 깊은 내부를 현실이 심장에 매우 효과를 가져올 수도 느낄 있습니다...현실이 다치게되면... 이심장이 아파... 죄송합니다... 

외로워도 생각할

미소가 나의 얼굴에 번져

힘들어도 니가 행복할

사랑이 가득히 채워

오늘도 거친 세상속에 살지만

힘들어도 눈감으면 모습뿐

아직도 귓가에 들려오는 꿈들이

나의 곁에서 향해 가고 있잖아

삶이 하루하루 꿈을 꾸는 것처럼

너와 함께 마주보며 사랑할 있다면

다시 일어설 거야

나에게 소중했던 기억속의 행복들

힘든 시간 속에서도 더욱 따스했던

희망은 내겐 잠들지 않는

나의 곁에서 그림자처럼

조용히 너는 내게로 와서

아파하는지 매일 외로운지

그리움으로 너는 내게 다녀가

세상이 울게 해도 나는 괜찮아

항상 니가 나의 곁에 있으니까

먼지처럼 추억이 변해서 떠날까

그저 웃으며 마음을 달래어 봐도

삶이 하루하루 꿈을 꾸는 것처럼

너와 함께 마주보며 사랑할 있다면

다시 일어설 거야

나에게 소중했던 기억속의 행복들

힘든 시간 속에서도 더욱 따스했던

희망은 내겐 잠들지 않는

수없이 넘어져 비틀대도

나는 이렇게 있잖아

하나뿐인데

힘들 때면 니가 이렇게 힘이 줄래

너를 향해 영원히

이렇게 상처 속에 슬픔들을 삼킨

미소 짓는 모습을 너에게 보여 줄게

이제는 아프지 않아

언제나 너와 함께 이루고픈 안고

없던 저편에서 너를 불러볼께

마음 다해 사랑하는 너를

Sang by: KyuHyun-ssi



070910 : 3.16PM

It's so sad to see that.. Astaghfirullahal'azim..berikan aku kekuatan Ya Allah... sesungguhnya aku hamba yg lemah.. tak punya kekuatan melainkan dengan iman da hidayah-Mu Ya Allah... tak punya kelebihan melainkan nikmat Islam-Mu Ya Allah... tak punya pergantungan melainkan hanya pada-Mu Ya Allah...Ya Allah, berat sekali ujian-Mu utk ku pikul.... maybe it's the starter for my new journey.. but, still.. can't bring that to the truth...I'm still far away... still on my way to prepare my own self... aku tak ada kekuatan itu Ya Allah... kekuatan utk berdepan dgn kebenaran... kebenaran yg sepatutnya aku tegakkan.. tapi... aku sendiri.... aku sendiri kaku bila berhadapan dgnnya... Astaghfirullah... ampuni aku Ya Allah...T__T 


060910 : 11.38PM

Alhamdulillah..setinggi kesyukuran ku panjatkan ke hadrat Ilahi, krna nafas dan iman yg masih dipinjamkan..alhamdulillah...Apa khabar semua?? harapnya sihat sentiasa dan dipermudahkan segala urusan di dunia mahupun akhirat kelak..amin...hmmm...for the first time I'm here as a "writer"..can I say that?? haha...hope can...huhuuu~~ Today, 27 Ramadhan 1431 Hijrah...at 9.30 AM...aku di sini, cuba utk menaip dan membuahkan isi yg tak berapa nk berisi ni...huhhuuu~~ (memang takde bakat nk menulis kot..huu~~) Okey, back to the point, whatever point laa....la~~la~~la~~la...hmmm...what I'm suppose to say?? ramadhan da nk berakhir...back to our checklist..brape banyak perubahan kita utk tahun ni?? huhuhu...adakah ramadhan yg datang telahpun digunakan sebaiknya?? back to myself first...alhamdulillah...(boleh laa..huhuhu~~ ^_* ) InsyaAllah..ada prubahan yg berlaku...tpi..adakah berkekalan?? wallahua'alam...hmmmm... 


"...Dan aku tidak (menyatakan) diriku bebas (dri kesalahan), kerana sesungguhnya nafsu itu selalu mendorong kejahatan,kecuali (nafsu) yg diberi rahmat oleh Tuhanku. Sesungguhnya Tuhanku Maha Pengampun, Maha 
Penyayang" Juz 13;12:53;



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